We talk about life so naturally when we’re back in our passport countries: a casual conversation at work; at the school gate; with the neighbour over the fence; over coffee with a friend or after church on a Sunday. We share child rearing challenges at ‘parent and toddler group’, talk about money matters, mortgages, rental prices and interest rates; discuss our relationships whether we are single, dating or married, we let off steam when life is stressful or ask a friends view on issues we’re facing.  It all happens so easily, there are many opportunities to talk and all these conversations whether big or small contribute to our well-being and ability to cope with the ups and downs of life.

On the mission field those conversations change, they don’t happen so often or so easily.  As a mission worker you can find yourself carrying a lot of thoughts and feelings around with you.  Small irritations and even significant concerns are held internally without any means of relief.  It is surprising but often over time, you can just get used to carrying your concerns and anxieties alone.  Life can be particularly isolating if you’re in a remote area, you don’t yet know the local language or there isn’t someone from your own culture that understands you.    That’s not to say relationships on the field aren’t supportive but they are different and relationships where we can share openly take time to develop, so early days in a new culture can be particularly difficult.

It’s important to develop a good support team back home, those who you can freely communicate with.  Communication is vital not only in reporting back what you are doing but how life is on the mission field.  Often we want to write positive upbeat prayer letters but it’s important to keep it real too.  That’s not to say we have to outpour all our worries but it’s helpful to have someone we can tell how it really is.  Bottling up feelings can create a potential explosion, so it’s good to acknowledge in some way the things we are struggling with.  Also, often the more we keep something to ourselves, the bigger the problem seems to get -  talking (phone or Skype) or writing (email or snail mail) gives an outlet for those thoughts and feelings.

Today as ‘Life Goes On’ ensure your communication support is in place (read more in Neal Pirolo’s ‘Serving as Senders’) and think about who you can talk to about life’s ups and downs on the mission field.

We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure…’ 2 Corinthians 1:8

Preparing to leave for the mission field is a busy time, hectic to say the least! There are so many practical things that need to be organised. Trying to decide what to pack and what to put into storage; making sure vaccinations are up to date; trying to organise accommodation and finalising work placements; putting financial matters and paperwork in order; perhaps arranging where children will go to school or getting home schooling materials ready and the list goes on, doesn’t it?

The time can really fly by as you prepare to leave and you can find that you haven’t had an opportunity to consider and reflect on how you will say goodbye to family, friends, colleagues, neighbours and those in your church and fellowship.

There are a variety of different reason people have for not having a ‘good’ goodbye:

• Being busy
• Not wanting to be the centre of attention
• Denial about leaving
• Wanting to avoid the pain of saying goodbye
• Perhaps not wanting to deal with a difficult relationship, where some conflict remains
• Worried about being emotional in front of people
• Not knowing how to say goodbye

Setting aside time to reflect on how you feel about leaving, how you feel about the people you are leaving behind, knowing how to express your feelings and thoughts and then planning your ‘good’ goodbye is crucial. It’s not always easy but it’s an essential part of the transition process into another culture.

We all say goodbye in different ways so there isn’t a ‘right’ way to say goodbye. Some people like to write letters and send cards, others prefer to meet face to face either one to one or in a large group. Some will enjoy a big send off party whereas others will prefer to keep things low-key. The most important thing is making time to say goodbye – so as you write your ‘Things to Do’ don’t forget to add ‘Say goodbye’ to your list.

‘When it was time to leave, we left and continued on our way. All of them, including wives and children, accompanied us out of the city, and there on the beach we knelt to pray. After saying goodbye to each other, we went aboard the ship, and they returned home.’

Acts 21:5-6

Sometimes we can be so busy making our ‘to do lists’ and organising the practical aspects of returning, we can forget one of the most important aspects of preparation – taking time to prepare emotionally, psychologically and spiritually.

Online pre re-entry counselling can give you an opportunity to reflect and personally prepare for your re-entry whilst you are still on the field. It can provide a space to reflect on your thoughts and feelings about saying goodbye and preparing to say hello. It can give opportunity to consider your hopes and fears for the future. To think about the changes you have experienced in yourself but to also look ahead to the changes you will encounter on your return, whether that be in relationships or in lifestyle. It can also offer a space to consider your needs and expectations as you return home and explore how you might communicate those needs to your home church and those eagerly waiting to see you again.

You maybe returning to familiar territory but your experiences as a missionary will have changed you and how you see the world and the life you left behind before you entered the missionfield. So as you prepare to take your next step on the missionary road, plan to take time to personally prepare for the changes and transition ahead of you. Preparing for re-entry can help to reduce re-entry stress and make your landing back home a more comfortable one.

“Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways.” Proverbs 4:25-26

Useful books for preparing for re-entry

Re-Entry by Peter Jordan

The Re-Entry Team by Neal Pirolo

Burn-Up or Splash Down by Marion Knell